*LOST LOVE*
Tonight I let it bleed,the ink, alongside the heart
Leaving behind traces that could be read
Maybe they too could help unveil the mystery behind us..
And answer questions that forever acts like they bound to tormenting me
You don't understand how much I bow my head in shame every time they ask me "what happened to us".
What happened to our love
The word love that has now turned to be like a language that I failed to understand
Like a monster,dressed in angelic garments but with a mask that doesn't perfectly fit in,
So tell me what to answer whenever those questions shoot through my heart like a double edged sword
Leaving me with tears that never seem to dry
Tell me how I begin to explain to the men that I  shoved down, that I teased  that I had someone.
How do I  explain that am now sinking in loneliness
Tell me what to say to the lots of friends who warned me about this but,heey... this was me a 18 year old girl in love so be Keen enough to keep you locked out of my business...so this was my attitude
Whenever I tried to defend us
So tell me what to answer whenever they want to hear how far we getting with the "wedding plans"
Whenever the love emojis ever captioning your pictures all over my social media accounts get replaced by motivational quotes of holding on.. never let go .. listen to your heart..
Wait, listen to your heart
You don't know how much this song seems to sweep me off having me wishing that I still listened to that soft voice that kept whispering that I still needed you
That I still loved you.
That I still wanted you one more time
But I was Keen enough to discover that am the one who wanted you while you wanted her.. and them
Am the one who loved you while your heart kept beating for someone else..
And it sickens me whenever I kissed you while you wished you were kissing her instead
And I chose to let you go with the hopes that one day I will get over it
That my heart will stop missing a beat every time I hear of your name
That tears won't flood my pillow when our favorite song playes on the radio
That our memories will fade away
With the hopes that time heals maybe that why I chose to fix a bigger wall clock in the living room to speed up the medication
And after the usual deletion of numbers and numerous blocking
I realized I wouldn't block this memories from haunting me
And tears from flowing...
So tell me what to answer whenever they ask me about us!